Like race horses and even professional athletes we fall into slumps. The more an athlete loses the more they think of losing until it becomes more and more difficult to win. It is the same too for love.
Many are familiar with the dating slump. We tell ourselves things like, “I'm not good enough. I'm not attractive, rich, skinny (insert adjective here)”. We convince ourselves we can't do any better so we take what we can get. Any love is better than no love, right? We go through life disconnected from love and worst – disconnected from our own true feelings. If we want to change our dating slump, we must change how we think of ourselves and others.
1. Get Physical –Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? If you’re not happy with what you see in the mirror, this will reflect on other people. It’s not that your image that is unattractive; people can sense insecurity and uncertainty. Find ways to improve your image for yourself – nobody else. Once you’re happy with what you see in the mirror, other will be too.
2. Distracted by job, family or friends – Jobs, children or friends adds additional doubt of finding love. Maybe you’re too busy to date or socialize. Or maybe you are afraid you cannot find love because you’re raising children. Our life’s responsibilities are something we cannot elude. The one thing to remember, we can never achieve anything if we don’t have the mind for it. Athletes can’t be champions if they’re energies are focused elsewhere and neither can we find love if we too focused on our day to day chores. Make time and mind space for love and you’ll be surprised to find it already waiting.
3. Overcome faulty beliefs –We all at times are harder on ourselves then others. We have beliefs about ourselves, like we’re mean, “Bitchy” and so on. But we simply cannot find a good love if continuing to view yourself under a negative light.
4. The here and now – This is a big issues many. We get lost in the here and now. We want so much to find love and be married that we forget to be happy in the here and now. Dating and love is about attitude and the better your attitude going in often proves a much better relationship. If you are desperate, or depressed going into a relationships, is not going to magically change. Learn to love the single life and relish independence. It will make you much more appealing.
5. Gaining confidence – not feeling worthy of love is one of the hardest slump to overcome. The truth is how is it possible for a love to find you worthy, if you don’t feel it yourself. Thankfully, there is someone for everyone – and there is someone out there for YOU.
So before you self-sabotage love, think about the above and see how they relate to you. Changing thoughts about yourself and others go a long way to finding love that suits you.
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