Dating Handicapping Tip #5: Value Dating

There is no entitlement in dating. We can’t force someone to love us, although many try with ultimatums and manipulations. You may know people who used sex or money to maintain relationships. You may have heard stories of possession, obsession, stalking and threats. Many hold on so tightly to bad relationships. Why?



Sometimes if a relationship seems to be failing, we go to great lengths to change ourselves, sacrifice our desires in fear the relationship may fall apart. We don’t want to be alone. We can’t handle the stigma of being single? Many prefer bad relationships to being alone.


Remember this; there is no value in dating if you have to use ultimatums and manipulations. There is no value if you can’t trust or fear your partner. You must ask yourself, if you cannot keep a person based on YOU, perhaps the relationship doesn’t have good value.


In horse racing handicapping there is a term, “Positive ROI (Return on Investment)”. In dating and relationships, what is positive return on investment? That depends on what you are looking for in a date. When entering the dating scene, be honest with yourself; what do you want? What are you looking for in a relationship?


1. Sex: You may want to date for sex. That’s fine. Many do so. But would your return on investment be higher on a modest, humble person looking to start a family, or someone who is more casual and let’s say – easy?


2. Casual friendships: If you’re not ready to settle down and you not sure what you want. You may just be ready to date casually and get to know people. The “Players” looking for sex may be too much for you and those looking for commitment may offer too much pressure. Best value would be go with like minded daters.


3. Committed Relationship: Many seek people for whom they can have committed relationships, get married and start a family. Would you date someone who is playing the field? You will be highly disappointed and therefore would have to resort to manipulations and ultimatums to secure the relationship.


I understand. When it comes to the emotion of love, the above may seem cold and heartless. I’ve said to myself before, “You can’t help who you love.” But there are a few things to remember. You can love someone without being relationships with them. You can love someone completely, and not be able to live with them. Some working relationships are more than just passion and desire. There is more to relationships than just the heart and loins, there is the brain! Use it!